


Pull the Trigger

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Humanstuck, Mental Illness, Racism, Sexism, Surprise Ending, canonly latula calls her matesprit mt but that doesn't sound right, dissed cronus/kankri, kankri being kankri, mentioned cronus/kurloz, meulin has cochlear implants for convenience, rape mention, school shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 21:54:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8225962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: "I wouldn't be sea-prised if he came in tomorrow with a gun," Meenah said.
The others gasped and exclaimed.
"Hey, we're all thinkin' it! The dude is totally a school-shooter-in wadin'."
"ERMM. I'D RATHER NOT THINK ABOUT IT," said Meulin.
"I would like to think about it," Aranea said a little excitedly.
 
---
The girls of West Beforus High discuss whether there is a potential mass murderer among them.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Besides the subject of school shooting, there's also discussed sexism, racism and rape. Plus, mentioned smoking.

The day in question had lovely, perfect April weather, but otherwise it was unremarkable. Morning classes at West Beforus High School were finished and the afternoon classes loomed ahead. For now, five Seniors enjoyed the lunch period under a tree on a blanket. The Group consisted on Porrim, Aranea, Latula, Meulin, and Damara, a transfer student from the exotic East Beforus High. They were enjoying themselves but the party was only complete when Meenah stomped over and plopped down on the blanket.

"Ugh!" she groaned.

"What's wrong?" Porrim asked.

"My smokin' break is RUI-NED!"

"Out of cigarettes?" Damara asked as she opened her purse.

"Tanks, but I still got plenty."

Damara took out a piece of gum. "Not offering."

"So I was at the smokin' shack, with my cigs that are much better than waterever carpy driftwood Damara fishes out of the China Sea, when Ampora came along."

The group groaned.

"I'd alreedy lit up and I didn't feel like swimmin' awaves so I decided to stay because hey, nicotine break. I was expectin' just his normal spiels and it did start off normal. He glubbed that he was gonna fail the American History test and it was unfair because the test was shit and if they axed him shit like what day did The Beatles came to America instead of when 'Ronald Nixon' was shot he'd have aced it."

"Ronald Nixon?" Aranea asked.

"His words, not mine. Anywaves, after glubbin' aboat the bias against boys, he suddenly turned to me and said he really needed to blow off some steam."

"He want to blow something," said Damara.

"He said if he didn't get a woman soon, he didn't know what he'd do. Kelped talkin' aboat how the War Against White Men was gettin' too him."

"There is no War Against White Men," Porrim said, "Sadly, white men are still on top."

"Yeah, but this glubber was talkin' aboat it like it was REAL and like it was gonna have REAL casualities REAL soon. Then, this creep asked me to come to his place tonight."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" asked Meulin.

"Same fin as alwaves: NO-OO."

"The right answer," Porrim said.

"But still, he got up in my face and he had CRAY-ZEE eyes and he took the cig out of my mouth and I thought it would be knee-to-balls time but instead he turned away and sighed and said I didn't know what I was doin' when I terned him down this day. It shivered my timbers. Before I could beat his bass, he stomped off sayin' all us bitches would learn some day. It put me off my nicotine."

Aranea said, "You shouldn't be smoking in the first place. It's very unhealthy."

"Hopefully it will give Ampora cancer."

"Actually," said Damara, "He does not burn. He only put it in his mouth."

"'Only put it in his mouth' is that a sex - " Meenah paused. "You're fuckin' right! I've never seen him actually light one! I've given him cigs before to get him off my dorsal! And this all time fucker just lets them go soggy in his gross blowhole! Well, I still hope he gets cancer. Basshole cancer."

"As unhealthy as smoking is, a girl or woman should be free to smoke without being harassed by a man. Sorry you had to deal with that," Porrim said.

"Don't get me wrong, I can handle the normal bassholes comin' onto me. But Ampora is something else."

The others nodded.

"Croz is alwayz hitting on me too," said Latula, "Talking crap about my boy Tuna, how a white grrl like me shouldn't datez an Asian dude when there'z white men like him. He's like 'why do you want Korean kimchi when you can have Italian sausage? That r-wordz gotta be this small.'" She gestured with her hands.

"Is he right?" Damara asked.

"Damz, no, I'm not gonna tell you! Now I can handle the gross diznik jokes, Tuna makes them all the time, but recently Croz has been going on how miscegenation is genocide..."

"MISCEGENATION?" Meulin asked.

"People of different races reproducing," Aranea said.

"BUT THOSE ARE THE BEST SHIPS!"

Latula continued, "I know? But he'z like if I have babiez with Tuna it means I won't be making white babiez and I'm like, dude, me and Tuna aren't up to that point, we're haven't even graduated high schoolz.'"

"HAVE BABIES ANYWAY TO SPITE CRONUS."

"Wait," said Meenah, "If he thinks it's 'genocide' for a white glubber and a glubber of color to mate, why's he alwaves hittin' on my black bass?"

"I am Chinese. Still he wants to mate," said Damara.

Latula added, "And Tuna thinks Croz might also be after his yellow ass so that doesn't make any senze."

"You can't expect constancy from a bigot's mind," Porrim said.

"THE MPREG BABIES WOULDN'T BE WHITE," Meulin said.

"Maybe he pull out. Not get pregnant," Damara said.

"WHICH ONE WOULD PULL OUT? CRONUS OR MITUNA?"

"Damn, Lin, don't ship those two," said Latula.

"I don't wanna think of them puffed up like seahorses," said Meenah.

"Despite his lack of intellectual constancy," Aranea said, "These ideas Cronus has in his head are dangerous. This political turn needs to be watched. This isn't like his previous years where he was just concerned with the classifications of musical genres."

"OR HARRY POTTER," Meulin added.

"I wonder what happened to that one...it disappeared so suddenly," Aranea said, "But in any case, this is a new Cronus persona we are dealing with."

"Not an-otter," Meenah groaned.

"It's like he's discovered Reddit," Porrim said.

"Hey!" snapped Latula, "Tuna goes to Reddit. It isn't badz...well, not that badz."

"Or some other site, pick one. This nonsense can be found anywhere on the internet, even on tumblr."

"Ugh," said Meenah, "Let's delete the Internet, startin' with bubblr."

"Internet for porn. Not politics," Damara said.

"Speaking of creeps and porn," Aranea said, "Makara gave the teacher a story about the infamous Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold of Columbine in an intimate shower."

"MY POOR EX," replied Meulin, "I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE. I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IN HAMEOWTON SLASH TO MY AMERICAN HISS-TORY TEACHER. LIKE, F-M-L."

"Except this was Physics and it wasn't an accident. Makara said he didn't care if it was inappropriate."

"By intimate shower," asked Porrim, "does our repressed friend mean the Columbine Shooters had sex in the shower?"

Aranea blushed. "I thought that was implied."

"Sex in shower never works," stated Damara.

"M-O-G SHOWER SEX IS SMEXXY. OR AT LEAST IT IS IN STORIES. I'VE NEVER GOTTEN AROUND TO HAVING IT. TEARS."

"Have you ever read any of his work?" Aranea said, "I have to admit I'm curious."

"NOT THIS COLUMBINE SLASH. HIS DEATH NOTE FICS BACK IN THE DAY WERE SMEXXY THOUGH."

"Leijon," Meenah said, "I know you write all the splash but don't even you think writin' aboat reel life krillers bumpin' uglies is weird?"

"ACTUALLY, L-O-L, I THINK IT'S CREEPY. I MEAN, REAL PEOPLE IS ONE THING, IF IT'S LIKE AN INTERNET PURRSONA, AND IT'S OKAY TO LIKE MEOWDERS LIKE FICTIONAL SUPURR VILLAINS, BUT THE COLUMBINE KILLERS IS TOO MUCH. NOPE! THEY'RE NOT EVEN THAT HOT."

"Yeah, super villains are hot but those sad buoys ain't super." Meenah added, "Not that I'd find a reel life super villain hot, you know, that's nasty."

Porrim asked, "I feel the urge to lecture him on boundaries, and possibly lecture you too, Meulin, but I don't feel that's my place. Meulin, have you talked to him?"

"SORRY, I HAVEN'T CLOSE TO HIM SINCE HIS KITTEN BROTHER WENT TO JUVIE OOPS I WASN'T SUPPAWSED TO TELL YOU THAT."

"Gamzee got arrested?" Aranea asked, "I wish I had known."

"It's not a surprize tho," Latula said, "Dude's totally 420 24-7."

"ACTUALLY, IT WAS A VIOLENT OF-...N-V-M I SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT L-O-L. ANYWAY, PURRLOZ'S BEEN ACTING PURRTY DISTANT. WE DON'T MUCH TALK ANYMEOW...I MEAN SIGN. WHEN WE DO, HE KEEPS SIGNING ABOUT HOW EVERYONE IS A PHONY AND NOTHING MATTERS. I WANT TO HANG OUT BUT ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS LIE IN BED AND HISTEN TO INSANE CLOWN PURRSE."

"Ugh, ICP!" Latula exclaimed, "Can't he listen to good muzic?"

"M-T-E! I DIDN'T GET MY COCHLEAR IMPLANTS FOR THAT."

"I don't know much about music," Porrim said, "but I am bothered by Insane Clown Posse's lyrics. There's too much violence against women in them."

"AND HIS ROOM IS ALSO A BIG NOPE. HE WROTE HELTER SKELTER ON THE WALLS IN RED O-M-G."

"A Charles Manson reference, I get it?" asked Aranea.

"How'd he get to paint words on his wall?" asked Meenah jealously.

"HE'S ALWAYS BEEN MEOWBID BUT IT'S OVER 9000 NOW!" cried Meulin, "IT'S SCARING ME. FROWN."

"I don't think I've seen him in a long time without a book on some morbid subject. He never reads school books. In fact, I'm surprised he still is in school."

"HE SAYS HE'D DROP OUT BUT HE WANTS TO TEACH EVERYONE THE TRUTH ONE DAY."

"What truth?"

"I-D-K L-O-L HE JUST GOES SILENT."

"I hafta admit," said Meenah, "it was funny when he told Ampora if he were Mark Chapman he'd have krilled all The Beatles."

"Seeing Ampora's horrified face was a pleasure," said Aranea, "But with recent information, that line seems sinister."

"Yeah, I get some bad vibez off of him," Latula said.

"I'M WORRIED ABOUT HIM TOO. HE'S NOT MY BOYFURRIEND ANYMEOW BUT HE IS MY BESTIE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."

"I know it's hard for you," said Porrim.

"I wouldn't be sea-prised if he came in tomorrow with a gun," Meenah said.

The others gasped and exclaimed.

"Hey, we're all thinkin' it! The dude is totally a school-shooter-in wadin'."

"ERMM. I'D RATHER NOT THINK ABOUT IT," said Meulin.

"I would like to think about it," Aranea said a little excitedly.

"I can see him think about it, at leazt," Latula said.

"Agreed," said Damara.

"I'm not sure about him," Porrim said, "But Cronus definitely would. Everything he says these days comes from Elliot Rodgers' manifesto."

"Yeah," said Meenah, "That bastard must have been tryin' to say if I didn't sleep with him, he'd blow up the school." She laughed. "Fat chance. I wouldn't trade my bass for this school."

"Besidez," said Latula, "He'd prob killz you afterwardz."

"He goes out killing whores," said Damara.

"Full-service sex-workers, you mean," said Porrim, "And he'd better not do that. I'd kill him if he did."

"Not if he shot back."

Meenah groaned. "So we've got two mass murderers in this lame school. Tomorrow Makara and Ampora could shoot up the school."

"And fuck in the gym shower," added Damara.

"I LIKE THE SHIP PURRPURRA BUT NOT THAT WAY!" said Meulin.

"I have to say," said Latula, "I think there's more dudez than that who would do that."

Porrim sighed. "There are just too many creepy boys in this school."

"Excuse me!"

They looked over to see Kankri.

"What do you want, Kanny?" Porrim asked exaperatedly.

He walked forward."I've been listening to your conversation and I don't like the wild accusations you've been making."

"Kankri, this isn't your conversation."

"Get lost, nerd," said Meenah.

Kankri continued, "You don't have proof that Ampora nor Makara nor both of them in conjunction would be capable of carrying out a mass shooting. This is very serious slander."

"Chill out, dude," said Latula, "I don't think anyone for realz thinks they're gonna commit a crime."

The other girls made uncertain noises. Meenah said, "Hell yeah we do!"

"Okay, but this izn't a court of law."

"Kankri, you've certainly made strong accusations against people before," Porrim said.

Kankri replied, "I did so because they actually did something, not because I imagined they might."

"Didn't you hear my Ampora story? He's been doing somefin and it ain't good," Meenah said.

Porrim said, "I find it interesting that when a group of women gather to talk about how some men make them feel unsafe you have to jump in and say 'Not All Men'."

"HASHTAG," added Meulin.

Kankri said,"It's not about gender, even though I do find it interesting that both your suspects are male-identified. It's about personality."

"And you don't see any problems with their personality?" asked Porrim, "Cronus Ampora with his entitlement issues? Kurloz Makara with his obsession with murderers?"

"I won't say the two don't have any undiagnosed mental condition. It's still ableist to say they must be violent. Calm and rational and, may I dare say it, sane people can commit extraordinary crimes."

"We're not being ableist, I think," said Latula, "I know not every mentally illz person kills. I mean, I'm crazy and so's my boyfriend and we don't kill. But it's not like no crazy person has ever killed."

"Language, please."

"Latula is right," said Porrim, "Their symptoms are red-flags."

"Red-flags? Those aren't red-flags. For one, Makara's interests, though others might label them 'really creepy', are normal for a boy his age. It's not like the rest of you don't have a fascination with death. You, Porrim, are obsessed with vampires, who are prolific serial killers."

"Vampires haven't killed anyone," Porrim said slowly, "They lack the crucial ability to exist."

"It still could be labelled morbid. And you, Serket, have an obsession with pirates, who most certainly existed and still exist, and are responsible for many massacres, among other crimes."

"It's all genealogical research," said Aranea.

"Well, this 'research' includes many historical fiction novels that prominently feature non-con. I've read all the Pirates of Passion line and I haven't found any sex act that rises above 'dubious consent', not that I'm happy with that label."

Aranea blushed. "How do you know what I read?"

"And you, Damara, I see you doddle what I think the Japanese call guro."

"Don't look at paper," said Damara.

"Meenah, I am not entirely convinced if there was a real life super villain you wouldn't be attracted them, sexually or squishy or however you express attraction."

"But there're ain't one," said Meenah.

"You, dear Latula, may be blameless in your interests, but your significant other listens to Eminem, which isn't that much different than Insane Clown Posse. And yes, I know Captor is out since he cannot properly use a firearm."

"I think there'z more reasonz than that to not suspect him," Latula said.

"And Leijon! Her stories! Enough said."

"DON'T LIKE DON'T READ," said Meulin.

"In conclusion, you all have interests that could be seen as red-flags, yet none of you consider yourselves potential mass murderers."

"I suppose you are right," said Porrim, "Though I wish you said it in a less shaming way."

"Thank you. You see, favorite music and fashion choices don't dictate the murderer. You can listen to classical music and wear sweaters and still be a mass murderer."

"So you don't see Makara's depression as a problem at all?" asked Aranea.

"Soon his problems will seem like nothing," said Kankri, "Now, Ampora might be awkward with the female gender, but that doesn't make him a femicidist."

"Awkward?" asked Meenah, "Bastard's not shy at all."

"He goes up to me and asks for fuck," Damara added.

Kankri said, "That just means he lacks in social inhibition and doesn't know the proper way to address someone he desires. You just have to let him know. He made sexually advances to me and I told him I was celibate and he had better not try it again or else."

"HE SAID HE LIKES YOU?" Meulin asked, "WHAT A SHIP!"

"So, if he likez dudez, is he really hitting on my boyfriend for realz?" asked Latula.

"Oops," said Kankri, "it seems I have accidentally outed Ampora. Still, Ampora didn't push despite having the opportunity."

"Because he respects a male's no more than a female's," said Porrim bitterly.

"Has he ever actually done anything other than remarks and stray backrubs? Meenah, he could have pressed you against the wall, violated you, and left you for broken and battered, sorry for bringing up such a triggering image, but he could have. I don't think he has it in him to do the crime that shall not be named. He certainly doesn't have it in him to commit to mass murder."

"I'm not certain he hasn't raped."

"That's a very triggering word and you know better, Porrim. Anyway, Ampora is, frankly speaking, a coward. He's a quitter. In his school career, he has never been in a club for more than one day. I have seen his firearm skills in person and they were atrocious. After firing a rather small handgun, he made a sound that could only be described as coming from a girl and dropped the firearm. I never asked him to go shooting with me again. In fact, our friendship rather faltered after."

"THERE GOES THAT SHIP."

"I wish you wouldn't ship me. I am celibate and also Ampora isn't who I would chose if I wasn't celibate. Frankly, he's an unpleasant person. He could deal better with his white privilege and stop calling himself a g-y-s-p-y."

"So you only care about his racism," said Porrim.

"Well, he might have a point on the War Against Boys. In the end, however, he will never do anything against this war. He and Makara might have their causes but they will never take action."

"You make it sound like they're failures."

"Well, they are if they desire to take action and don't. That said, it is a daunting action. School shootings are a massive undertaking that take months of planning. That is, ones with a body count. Murdering one or two classmates isn't sufficient enough. If you want to be known for more than a week, to have your hometown forever associated with death, you have to do it on a large scale. Harris and Klebold left big shoes to fill, though they could have done a better job with their explosives. And every mass killing needs a stirring manifesto and neither Cronus nor Makara are decent enough writers. Have you seen Cronus' spelling? Or Makara's grammar? If you look at the facts, the two are poor candidates."

"Well then, Vantas, who do you think would shoot up the school?" asked Aranea.

"I am not biased enough to claim I know. A mass murderer can be any race, White, Black, Asian, Romani, Unclassified. They may be male or female or uncertain of their gender identity. They can be any sexuality, straight, gay, pansexual, asexual. You can never really tell."

"SOUNDS SCARY," said Meulin.

"I think I should take a mental health day off tomorrow," said Latula.

"I'm sorry if this talk has triggered you," Kankri said, "I didn't mean to paint such a dark picture. School shootings are still rare events. You don't have to stay home tomorrow."

Porrim said, "That is decent advice. We shouldn't lose sleep. And as lackluster as our education is sometimes, attendence is still important."

"Popo, KK, you're right. I should save that day for laterz," Latula said.

Meenah said, "Well, you suckers may not care but I still think..."

The school bell rang.

"Fuck!" cried Meenah, "I didn't get to eat or smoke! You stupid bassholes and your fascinatin' conversations!"

Kankri disappeared as quickly as he appeared without the girls noticing. The girls got off the blanket and it was stashed into Porrim's all-encompassing bag. They hurried on their way, thinking more on their classes than their lunch time conversation. That conversation might have been forgotten.

If Kankri hadn't shot up the school the next day.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Homesmut Prompt: Kurloz is the goth-metal-juggalo kid who creeps everyone out. Cronus is the entitled brat. Everyone's a bit wary of them. The one who actually walks in and shoots up the school one day is Kankri.


End file.
